My Brother's Wife
by Crash Hale
Summary: Emmett has always been in love with his brother's wife Bella. Now that Edward has passed, what will become of Emmett and Bella, and how will they put their lives back together after losing Edward? AH. Rated M.
1. Chapter One

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything Twilight.

Banner and photos can be found in my profile.

A very big thank you goes out to obsessedmon for editing this story for me. I'm very grateful for the speedy and wonderful edit.

**Warning. **Rated M.

**_

* * *

_**

******My Brother's Wife**

**Chapter One**

"Hey," I smiled widely as my beautiful niece ran towards me, "there's my girl." I wrapped her up in my arms and brought her up into my hold. She wrapped her small arms around my neck and hugged me tight, hiding her face in my neck. I stroked her hair back and kissed the top of her head, feeling her soft hair against my chin.

I looked up to see the woman of my dreams walking towards us, she always had been the only woman I loved. In my whole thirty years on this earth. She had never been mine, yet she owned my heart.

"Hey, Em." She smiled, moving in to kiss my cheek. I leaned down and kissed hers also, feeling her soft skin against my lips and smelling her hair as she hugged me, Nessie squished between the two of us.

"You gonna say hello to Uncle Em, baby?" Bella asked, rubbing Nessie's back and giving me an apologetic look, "She just woke up from her nap in the car," she sighed.

"Uncle Em understands," I kissed Nessie again and held her to me as we entered my oversized home. I didn't have a wife and kids, there was no need for this kind of space. But I did have a beautiful four year old niece, and I did have Bella, my sister-in-law.

I met Bella seven years ago, on my birthday actually. I was dating Rosalie at the time and she brought a couple of her friends with her to the party. From that night on, I knew Rosalie wasn't the one for me. No woman really was back then. I saw Bella once, and no other woman could compare. She was, she is, The One. The Only One.

But, Edward, being the charming guy he was, won her heart in no time at all. She even told me once how she knew she'd marry him and have his children, even on that first night. She often told me how much she loved him still.

Knowing she and Edward were happy, I didn't intrude, I watched them fall deeper in love, marry and have Nessie. I dated women who reminded me of her; long haired brunettes with pale skin and deep brown eyes, small slender frames and beautiful smiles. But none of them worked out, because none of them were Bella.

"How about some ice cream?" I asked, watching as Bella put their stuff down on the couch and stood there, pushing her long hair from her face and closing her eyes for a second. She seemed a little tired, but she often was. I knew she didn't sleep well since it happened.

It had been two years since _it_ happened; Edward's death. He was a firefighter and never made it out of the last building. I missed him everyday. He was a good little brother. We always got along, and I felt kind of guilty for all those times I hated him for having Bella.

The first couple of months were really hard on us all, it was still hard of course. But those first couple of months, all Bella did was cry, then, she did nothing. I could hardly get any kind of emotion from her. She just took care of Nessie, with my help, and did what she had to, to get through each day. It was a dark time.

But months went on, and turned into years and things got a little better. We smiled now, we had good times again. We didn't want Nessie growing up around unhappy people. Edward wouldn't want his daughter raised like that, so we did it for him and we did it for Nessie, and I did it for Bella.

"Ice cream sounds perfect," Bella smiled that pretty smile my way and reached her arms out to take Nessie. I handed Nessie over to her.

"Mmm, sounds good, right baby?" She asked Nessie.

Nessie nodded with a pout, making me laugh as I went to get her the ice cream that I always had sitting in my freezer for her. She loved those mini chocolate drumsticks.

I never had the nerve to tell Bella how much I loved her. Not when Edward was dating her, or after he married her. It didn't matter then that I loved her. Because she loved him and he loved her, they were a family; Edward, Bella and Nessie.

And after Edward's death, it became even more impossible for me to tell her. I was the one there for her, helping raise Nessie and helping through the hard times. I knew she would feel betrayed, thinking I was only doing it so I could be with her, which of course wasn't the case.

I'd do everything for her and Nessie, even knowing she'd never be to me what she was to Edward, knowing I could never take his place in her heart.

I returned with the ice cream and unwrapped it for Nessie. Bella had sat her down on the couch and was taking her little shoes off while I was in the kitchen. I sat down next to Nessie while Bella sat up on the coffee table.

"So, it's nice out, maybe we could hang out by the pool in the backyard today." I suggested.

"Actually, you read our minds. We're wearing our bathing suits already." Bella winked at Nessie and then looked to me. My breath caught every time those beautiful brown eyes looked into mine.

"Oh, yeah?" I looked between them, "well then, I'll go change too."

I told Bella I'd be right back and went to change into some shorts. I met up with the girls again and took Nessie to the back. Nessie was more awake now, splashing with me in the water as we played.

Bella sat at the edge of the pool, her legs in the water as she watched us with a smile. I smiled back at her every once in awhile, trying not to think about how sexy her body looked in that black bikini. But she always looked sexy.

"Mama, come play!" Nessie splashed in my arms, making me laugh as water went everywhere.

"No, baby. You two have fun." I knew Bella couldn't swim, it scared her since she was young, she had told me, even when we weren't in the deep end. But I guessed she was a lot shorter than me, this water would be deeper for her than it was for me.

After awhile, Bella went on inside to make us some dinner. I loved my days off. I always got to spend them with my two favorite girls. I loved everyday come to think of it, because we did spend a lot of time together, but on the weekends it was longer. They slept over on the weekends, meaning I got to be with them Sunday mornings, first thing.

Once I saw Bella setting up the food on the back table, I took Nessie out of the pool and dried her off with a towel, coming over to the table and sitting her down on my lap, kissing her wet hair as she sat calmly with me. I think she was getting tired from all the time we had been spending in the pool

Bella joined us at the table once it was all set.

"Thanks, Bella. This looks wonderful." I loved her cooking, even when Edward was alive, I'd always go over for dinner. She was very motherly and caring, and I don't think she even noticed that about herself, but I did, and I found it adorable.

Bella played with her food while Nessie and I ate ours faster than we should, knowing that our tummies would hurt later.

"You okay?" I asked, when my mouth wasn't full, surprised to have managed that.

She shrugged, "Haven't been feeling well." She told me.

"Oh," I was concerned and I knew she didn't like going to the doctor, "I can look you over, you know, make sure you're okay," I offered. I always wanted her happy and healthy. My chest hurt whenever either of them weren't okay.

She shot me one of those beautiful smiles that made my chest ache differently; longingly, "Oh, yeah? Should I spread my knees for you and scoot down to the edge of the table, doctor?" She teased and bit on her lip to stop laughing.

"I won't protest if you do." I smiled back, making her blush. I loved that blush. And I loved when she teased me. Bella had a lot to say about me being an OB/GYN. I told her; I loved babies and I loved where they came from. It was the perfect job for me. She agreed, but still teased me every chance she got.

"No, I'm fine, really. Just tired" she assured.

Yeah, I knew how that felt. Sleep didn't come easy to me either.

After dinner, Nessie played with her toys beside us while Bella and I sat at the table, having a couple of coffees.

"How's work?" I asked.

"It's great, but you know, I mostly like it for the hours."

I nodded, looking down into my coffee mug for a second, seeing I was almost already through with it.

Bella worked as a high school teacher now that Edward was gone, but while he was alive she was a stay at home mother with Nessie, considering Edward made just enough for them to live comfortably.

My parents helped out a lot money wise now, wanting her and Nessie to be comfortable and knowing they needed their own place. Moving in with my parents wasn't something Bella wanted to do. Not that she didn't love them, of course she did, but she just needed to do it on her own, as much as she could. We all understood.

Bella was always independent though and even with my parents help she needed to make at least some of the money. Nessie went to daycare, which I strongly disapproved of, but as Bella reminded me, Nessie was her daughter, not mine. It wasn't my choice. It hurt to hear it, knowing she was right.

I wished she was mine though. I'd be there for her as an uncle, as a father, as whatever she needed, whether Bella was with me or not, I'd be there for whatever my niece needed.

"Uncle Em, Em, Mmm..." Nessie jumped around my chair.

"Yes, baby. Yes." I gave her my full attention.

"Let's make Barbie swim." She suggested, holding her Barbie doll up and handing her to me.

I looked over at Bella with a smirk, "I have a better idea," Nessie looked at me, still holding the Barbie up, "Let's make mama swim."

Bella's brown eyes widened like I was making a threat and shook her head quickly, "Oh, no, no..."

"Oh, yes, yes." I smiled, quickly getting out of my chair and pulling Bella out of hers. I wrapped my arm around her and made her walk towards the pool. She held onto me and tried pushing back, but her small body had no chance when challenged by mine.

Nessie laughed and helped push her mama along with me.

"No, Em... Don't, okay? This isn't funny." She said, sounding panicked and holding onto me tighter. I loved the feel of her body wrapped around mine, almost all skin to skin, so I guess I was doing this for my own personal reasons. But I also knew she'd have fun too. Plus, Nessie was already laughing.

"It's fun, mama. And Uncle Em holds you." Nessie said, standing by me once at the pool and holding her arms up to mine. I quickly pulled Nessie up into my arm, and held Bella's slender waist with my other.

"This isn't fun." She shook her head and turned her face into my chest, breathing hard against me.

"I won't let go," I promised as we stepped in together, "ever." A couple of steps deeper and we were waist deep, well, at least _my_ waist deep, the water was up by Bella's chest as her grip on me tightened further.

"I hate you." She warned, holding me while I held her and Nessie. Nessie played with her Barbie, making her swim, face first, in the water.

"You love me." I kissed the top of her soft sweet smelling hair.

"Yeah," She breathed, sounding shaky, "but I hate you too. You always make me do things I don't want to." Her body seemed to be relaxing a little against mine the longer we stood here.

She was right, I always did make her face her fears. But I was always here of course. She'd never have to face them alone.

I stood there with her until I let her go and she walked out as fast as she possibly could in the water, "Not funny, Emmett!" She called back as she walked into the house, trying to be upset with me, but she never was for long.

Nessie and I laughed at her, and then continued playing.

Once we were done, Nessie and Bella went to take a bubble bath in my bathroom. I took a shower in one of the other bathrooms and changed into shorts and a T-shirt for the night.

Bella and Nessie were soon done, Bella dressed in shorts and a T-shirt also, Nessie in pajamas and looking ready for bed while she laid her little head against Bella's shoulder.

"Come on, Uncle Em, time for beddy byes." Bella smiled, kissing Nessie's head and walking ahead of me down the hall to the room I had set up for Nessie.

It was a cute jungle theme, had been for the last four years, with 'Nessie's Jungle' written on the white door. I was their regular baby sitter when Edward was alive, taking Nessie whenever they wanted to spend some time alone.

I stood at the door while I watched Bella tuck her in, telling her she loved her and she'd see her in the morning. I went over and kissed her forehead, wishing her sweet dreams.

She was out like a light from our fun filled day by the pool by the time Bella and I turned her night light on and closed the door behind ourselves.

"Movie?" Bella asked.

"Sure," I agreed, anything she wanted, "You pick. I'll make popcorn."

I left Bella in the living room while I went to the kitchen and made some popcorn, quickly returning and seeing Bella had the movie all ready to go.

We sat on opposite sides of the couch, with me fighting the urge I had to hold her throughout the entire film. I had to fight this urge every second I was around her, and didn't always succeed; holding her in the pool for example. I just couldn't keep my eyes and hands off her in that little bikini of hers.

The movie ended and I noticed Bella was asleep, her head on the armrest beside her. I slowly scooped her up into my arms, and walked her to the guest bedroom. She moaned softly and wrapped her arms around my neck, snuggling in, just before I laid her down and kissed her forehead, moving her hair from her face and looking down at her beautiful features.

"Mmm, Em..." She moaned.

"Yeah, baby?" I stroked her hair again, noticing she was talking in her sleep when she didn't respond.

I smiled, wondering if she dreamt of me the way I dreamt of her.

Of course she didn't. She was just thanking me, in her sleepy state, for taking her to bed.

I sighed and watched her a second longer, covering her with a blanket before going to my own room and dropping down on the bed, looking out the large window at the dark sky.

I wasn't sure what I had gotten myself into. How would life play out? Would Bella figure out I loved her more than a brother-in-law should? Would she hate me and take Nessie away when she did?

_Fuck!_

I quickly sat up, taking my T-shirt off and putting it on the bed beside me, going under the covers and trying to sleep. It never really worked when Bella was so close.

I looked up at the ceiling as I tried not to think of how amazing she looked all day. God, it was the hardest thing in the fucking world trying not to get a boner with her pressed against me the way she was in the water, watching the way her hips swayed when she walked away, showing the small crease where her ass and the back of her thighs met in the small bikini bottom, her body dripping with water and glistening in the sunlight.

I gripped the bed sheets beside me, looking down and seeing the tent my dick formed with the covers. It was better that I just do this now, rather than be in pain around her all day tomorrow.

I felt like a bit of a creep, doing this while she was down the hall, but the thought of tomorrow being so_ hard_ on me, overweighed it.

I reached for my T-shirt on the bed besides me and pulled my boxers down, just enough so I could quickly get this out of the way.

Images of Bella filled my head as I closed my eyes, seeing her here with me, riding me, her breasts in my hands while her head dropped back and she moaned my name.

"Oh," _Fuck! _I jerked a little harder, coming into the T-shirt and relaxing for a minute before wiping myself clean and throwing the T-shirt down onto the floor beside the bed, pulling my boxers back up my hips.

I sighed, feeling a little sweaty and wide awake still. So I continued to lay there, staring out the window.

About another hour passed with thoughts of Bella still swirling around in my head, wishing she was beside me in my bed, just to hold her, before my bedroom door slowly opened. I watched, wondering if it was Bella or Nessie.

It was Bella, slowly walking over to the bed and moving my covers to climb in. I felt my heart beat rise as she got in. Thank God she didn't walk in an hour ago.

"You okay?" I asked, shocked that my thoughts were becoming reality. She was beside me in my bed, and we were both facing each other now.

"Couldn't sleep," she whispered, "I'm sorry. Should I leave?" she asked.

I shook my head, knowing she'd see me do it with the moon lighting up my room. I moved my hand over to her, stroking her hair from her face.

She moaned, making me swallow with dirty thoughts coming to mind. I hated when I thought them about her, feeling like I was betraying her somehow, betraying what we were. But I thought them often. Thought about feeling every inch of her and making her feel good, wanting to make her cry my name because of what I did to her.

"No. Stay. I can't sleep either." I sighed.

She moved in closer and let me wrap my arm around her, her hand cupping my cheek, making my heart beat even faster.

"Everything is gonna be alright, right?" She asked. Her eyes seemed to be tracing my face as her thumb rubbed my cheek softly.

I nodded, tightening my arm around her, wanting to feel her body against mine.

She gasped a little and bit her lip once I had her pressed against me firmly.

"Why wouldn't it be?" I asked, watching her sad expression.

She looked down, her hand moving down my chest, pressing it against my overactive heart. She looked back into my eyes, concern written in her features, "Why's your heart beating a mile a minute?" she asked, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I nodded, _it's just that you're here, in my bed and in my arms_, I thought, "Now tell me; Why wouldn't everything be alright?" I asked again.

"I don't know..." She whispered again, sounding sad and confused, "I had a bad dream, again." She sighed, letting me feel her hot breath against my chest.

I knew about her bad dreams. They were always the same; Edward in the fire that took him away from her.

I kissed her forehead and pushed my own sorrow for my baby brother back, "I'm here and I'll make sure nothing else bad ever happens to you. I promise, baby. I promise." I hushed.

She looked up when I called her baby. I did it every once in awhile, when she needed comforting.

"What?" I smiled slightly and pushed her hair back again. She held her body to mine of her own will, feeling my chest a little with her hands.

"I like when you call me that." She whispered, biting on her lip again and, oh fuck, looking down at mine. I knew that look; the look of wanting to be kissed.

I tangled my fingers in her hair behind her neck and, without thinking it through any longer, made her lips meet mine half way in.

She moaned against my lips, moving her hand behind my neck also, holding me close to her.

I wasn't dreaming this time. She was really here with me, smelling of strawberries, and tasting like honey as her mouth opened to me, letting me lick her plump swollen lips, her tongue meeting mine between our mouths and kissing me back with as much passion as I had for her.

So this was what it felt like when all your dreams came true. When the woman you had been longing for, for seven years, was finally kissing you and holding onto you like she feared you'd leave any minute.

I would never, ever leave her. She and Nessie were my everything. I hoped she knew.

She was heaven. All I wanted and needed.

She moaned into my mouth some more, moving her hand to my shoulder and pushing me back a little, "Em..." She breathed against my lips.

"Yeah?" I asked softly, stroking her hair to soothe her.

_To Be Continued..._

* * *

_You know what to do... Please review; They make me write faster. I do hope you enjoyed it. Remember to add and follow me on twitter, **http://twitter (dot) com/CrashHale** for teasers of what's to come._


	2. Chapter Two

**Disclaimer:** You know it, I don't own any of it.

A big thank you goes out to my lovely beta, obsessedmom for editing once again. She's to thank for making sense of my nonsense ;) Thank you!

* * *

**Chapter Two**

"This is wrong..." I could hear her swallow hard while she looked at me, still closer than ever.

I stared back, wondering why this, this that felt so right, was wrong to her.

"It's bad that..." She paused, biting that bottom lip again, "It's bad that... I want you..." She took a shaky breath and pull her face away from mine slightly, still letting me hold her.

"Are you happy around me?" I question, not sure if I wanted the answer. What if I didn't make her happy, like I thought I did at times?

"Of course," she nodded, looking at me with an odd mix of pain and... I'm not sure.

"Then why would something that makes us happy be wrong?" I asked, hoping she'd see my point. God, I just wanted her, any and every part of her, for so long, and here she was, so close.

Her hand moved down my arm, gripping onto my back before kissing me again. She didn't stop this time, the kiss only grew deeper, making me want her even more than I knew.

I moved us slowly and gently, putting my leg between hers as I got on top, my hand skimming her hip and coming down flat on her outer thigh. She broke the kiss as her head fell back on my pillow and she looked up at me, her arms around my neck.

I gave her a smile before moving my face into her neck, smelling her hair at first, then kissing her heated skin softly.

She gasped, moving her head back for me to have better access to her beautiful mouth-watering neck. Her hips pushed up into me, causing friction against my already hard erection. She had no idea what she was doing to me.

I let my tongue out, tasting the white skin I was never this lucky to have before, sucking very lightly, making her moan as her hands moved down my upper arms again.

Her leg hooked around me of her own free will as my hand slowly moved up her T-shirt, allowing myself time to feel her soft skin, feel the way she shivered against me even though she was anything but cold.

My fingertips finally reached the bottom curve of her breast. She was holding her breath now as I placed kisses up and down her throat.

I moved my hand to her side, around her ribcage, letting my thumb trace the outside curve of her breast, slowly moving my thumb up her mound, so soft, yet firm. I circled her hardened nipple, smiling as she let her breath out.

I moved my kisses down her chest, still kissing over the fabric of her T-shirt as my hands moved down her stomach and lifted it to just below her breasts, her flat belly rising and falling, stilling suddenly when I kissed her belly button, both my hands moving up under her T-shirt, letting her full breasts fill my hands.

One of her hands joined mine while her other moved into my hair, almost stroking it lovingly. I kissed every possible part of her stomach, even making her giggle for a short second.

Moving my hands from her breasts I moved them down her sides, hips and thighs, coming to kiss her thighs with my head between them. She let me take my time, holding onto my hands that were holding her thighs open.

I placed a trail of kisses up her thigh, coming to her shorts and wishing they weren't there. As I moved my hands to the waistband, she told me to stop, "No, Em... Don't." She breathed, making my heart sink just a little.

I guessed she wasn't ready, and I wouldn't make her do anything she didn't want to.

"Just... kiss me a little longer, okay?" she asked, so quietly it was hard to hear. I smiled and crawled back up her body, being so daring as to pull her T-shirt higher. She lifted herself enough to help pull it away from her body.

"You're so beautiful," In every way, she always had been, but I had never seen her so naked, and underneath me at that.

She just stroked my face, looking at every part of my face besides my eyes.

"I can just hold you, if you don't want anything more," but, fucking hell, I wanted more. I wanted all of her. I wanted to be one with the person I loved more than anything in this world. I had never made _love_ before and I wanted to know the feeling. Fucking was different than love making. I knew fucking very well, but not love making. It was new to me.

She shook her head and looked into my eyes finally, "It's... It's just been... awhile. I'm a little scared... Especially 'cause it's you," she admitted.

I didn't want to think about her last time being with Edward. I didn't want to think about being his brother right now, loving his wife. I was just me, loving who I had loved all along.

"You never have to be scared of me." I smiled, aware of the way her breasts pressed into my chest. Her body wanted mine, every part of her was calling to me, "I love you... Let me show you?"

She looked into my eyes a little longer, just being with me, before she nodded and pulled my face down to her again, kissing me deeply. I had never had a kiss like this; it was so gentle, yet needy and passionate... so comfortable.

We lay there together for awhile, connecting through our kisses and our skin so close. She felt so soft and fragile against me. I wanted to protect her and only give her pleasure and happiness.

She held onto me, pressing herself up against me as we kissed. This was so unreal, it felt like I might wake up any minute now and be alone in my bed, with yet another hard on.

I pulled back a little, smiling down at her because she was still here, letting me move my hand down the valley of her breasts, skimming her stomach lightly and slipping my fingers into the waistband of her shorts.

She bit on her lip, harder than normal as she looked down between our bodies, my hand slipping all the way in, under her panties, hoping she wouldn't tell me to stop. I knew she was scared, but I knew she wanted it. I was here to help her face her fears as always.

I dipped my middle finger between her warm wet folds, growing even harder at the fact that she was like this for me, gasping as I pressed my finger up her nerve, making her moan as she closed her eyes and held still.

Feeling her body relax a little, and seeing her eyes move back up to mine, I took it further and used three fingers to rub her gently, earning more moans and gasps, feeling the moisture greaten. God, she was so beautiful like this. So innocent, yet sinful in her sexuality.

I smiled against her mouth as she pulled me in again, kissing me with hunger and encouraging me to tease her opening, pushing two fingers in as she gripped my hair tightly, moaning a little more into my mouth. She was so tight around my fingers. I moved them in and out slowly at first, circling as I went and our kisses died down.

I moved my kisses down her chest, kissing her soft breasts, hearing her gasp again when I reached her nipple, taking the hardened peak and kissing, licking, then gently biting.

"Oh..." She arched her back, pressing her chest into my face, holding my head by my hair and pushing her hips down onto my hand. I used the heel of my palm, rubbing her clit roughly as my fingers moved with intensity inside her, "Em... mmm..." She whispered and moaned, urging me on.

She gasped a couple more times, her body stilling as I felt a gush of her juices coat my fingers. I smiled against her skin and kissed the valley between her breasts, tasting the light layer of sweet sweat that had formed. I could eat her whole if she let me.

I finally pulled my hand out of her panties, holding the waistband again and looking down at her. She was biting her lip, looking at me all flushed from her orgasm. I don't think she had ever looked more beautiful than right now.

She lifted her hips and helped me push her shorts and panties down her legs, kicking them off and then grabbing my shoulders again, pulling me on top and going in for another kiss. I had been waiting to kiss her for seven years and it was ever better than I imagined it would be. Her warm tongue moved against mine in sync as if we were made to kiss the other.

I wanted to tell her I loved her again and again. I know she always knew that I did, on some level, but I wanted her to know I loved her more than anyone. But I was afraid of ending this too soon. I needed her, needed her like my life depended on it. I couldn't scare her away now that I had her.

A low moan escaped my mouth into hers as I rubbed up against her, her legs moving around my waist and pulling me closer. She pulled her mouth from mine, allowing me to kiss down her jaw and up to her ear.

"Em..." She breathed, her hands tracing my back. I pulled back and looked down at her, _please don't tell me to stop_, I thought, _I want you so much_. "Condom," she said, sounding like she was shy to tell me to use one.

I nodded and placed a kiss across her swollen lips. I reached across the bed to my night stand, opening the drawer, her legs still holding me close as I pulled one out, placing it on the bed beside us.

I used both hands to hover above her, looking down at the way she pushed her hair back and continued to look a little concerned. She finally pulled her hands from her hair and ran them down my chest and to my boxers, her slender fingers hooking into my boxers. She was going really slow, as if afraid, which I knew she probably was.

"You sure you want this, baby?" I finally asked. Even though I knew I wanted this, more than anything, that didn't mean she wanted the same thing. If she changed her mind now, I didn't want her doing something she'd regret. It would kill me, but I'd die for her a million times over.

She pushed them down, while I fought to hold back my groan as her feet continued to push them down my legs, my dick pressing down against her lower belly.

"I want this," she whispered, and it was all I needed.

I reached for the condom and tore it open with my teeth, watching her as she took it from me and gently rolled it on me between us. I felt like my heart would leave my chest when her fingers touched me there, finally taking a hold of me and stroking a few times.

Although I wanted to spend the whole night kissing every part of her beautiful body, I knew she wouldn't be too comfortable with it tonight. It would be too intense, and right now we were living in the moment... Well, I was living every moment... _She_ was living in the moment.

I hoped she wouldn't regret this. I hoped she let me spend every night after this one, kissing her all over and telling her I loved her for the rest of our lives.

Yeah, Emmett Cullen... The never commit to one woman guy.

But this was different; She was _The_ Woman.

She pushed me down to her entrance, letting me feel the hot moisture there, and I think I was dying, going to heaven, if there was one, slowly pushing into her. Her arms moved around me, nails digging into my skin, crying out with a whisper then biting her lip as she moaned, gasping when I was all the way in, letting her swallow me whole with her tightness.

I knew it had been years for her and she was probably in some kind of pain. I was bigger than most men, and damn proud of that fact, but not now, not if I was hurting her.

I stayed still, fighting not to pull back and ram into her again and again. She was the love of my life, I'd wait forever for her.

"Bella?" I asked, stroking her messy hair from her face and watching her closed eyes. They finally opened to me after a few seconds and she nodded, "I'm okay..." she spoke softly.

I looked deep into her warm pools as she looked into my icy blue ones. I moved back slowly and pushed back in, repeating a few times as we kissed again.

One of her hands held on around my shoulder, the other moving down to my ass, pulling me closer to her, making me lose myself in her. I was here, in this world, for her. That was clearer than day for me.

"Oh..." Her head fell back on my pillow, her mouth open, eyes closed, tears running down into her hair as I found a steady pace, kissing her tears away, telling her how perfect she was.

She cupped my face after a few minutes, kissing my chin and breathing hot air against my neck.

I smiled when she pushed me onto my back, of course, because I let her, coming on top of me, pressing her body down against me, grinding and riding me while we kissed, my hands grabbing her tight ass, pushing her down on me every time she pulled back.

Her face moved into my neck, whimpering and crying out softly. I wrapped an arm around her waist, moving the other up and holding her hair back so I could kiss her shoulder, the skin so soft against my lips.

Her movements were slowing down, so I flipped her onto her back again, holding her thighs back and moving in deeper, surprised I had lasted this long inside her. I guessed my release earlier tonight was to thank for that.

"Does it feel good?" I asked in a low voice.

She nodded slightly, "Yeah... So good..." she told me, as she moved her hands to hold her own legs back, allowing me to move my arms under her, holding onto her shoulders so she wouldn't rise up on the bed too much once the thrusts got stronger, faster and deeper.

I watched her beautiful face as she whispered she was close, more tears falling into her hair as her eyes shut tightly and her mouth fell open again, letting out the most perfect cries I had ever heard.

I felt her warmth tighten around me, coming once more. This was love making; wanting the other person to feel good, not caring if you ever came again as long as they did. As long as they came undone at your hand.

Unable to hold myself back any longer from how good it felt being inside her, my hands gripped on to her shoulders, groaning into her neck as I thrust in one more time, letting go and coming inside her.

I felt her relax under me as I pulled out, kissing her shoulder before rolling off her. I quickly grabbed a tissue and took the condom off, wrapping it up and pulling her back to me under the covers. She held them over us and wrapped an arm around me, face in my chest, unwilling to look at me.

I kissed the top of her head, tracing small circles around her naked back, not needing words right now. Right now I had everything I ever needed, ever wanted.

0o0o0

I don't think I ever got a better nights sleep in my life. Having her small body in my arms all night was the most comforting feeling in the world. She was all warm and naked, against me for hours while we slept.

"Fuck," I heard Bella curse with a whisper, moving from my arms and from my bed. I opened my eyes and watched her as she searched for clothes.

"Bella," I smiled, wanting her back in bed. She quickly stopped and looked down at me after she managed to get her T-shirt back on, "Come back into bed." I told her. It was still early, we had at least an hour to cuddle, if not more.

She reached down for her panties and pulled them on, shaking her head at me and making my heart break at the way she looked at me.

"I'm... really, really sorry, okay?" she said softly, sounding as scared as ever. Did I make her feel that way?

"I don't understand..." I sat up and scratched my head. Did we not just make love last night? Why would she possibly be sorry for that?

"Please... Just let me get Nessie and go home."

Okay, now I really didn't understand what I did wrong. Worries ran through me that maybe I made her do something she didn't truly want to. Was it really her just living in the moment last night like I thought?

Was she using me?

Bella was better than that, she didn't use people and I knew that. At least I hope I knew that.

"Why would you go home? You always spend Sundays here with me." I reminded, of course she couldn't have forgotten that.

"Emmett," She spoke somewhat calmly now, "I just need to go, okay? I can't do this... I'm so sorry about last night. That wasn't fair to you."

_What?_

Her pretty eyes watered and she quickly turned away before I could see the tears spill over. She opened my door, stepped through it and closed it behind herself before I could say another word.

Like I gave her everything she wanted, I'd give her this too. I'd leave her alone for now if that's what she wanted. Maybe she just needed to figure out what was going on with us. Maybe she'd be back to me by tonight. Hopefully she would be, because I knew I could hardly stand this right now, and it had just happened.

I couldn't live with her regretting us.

_But you have to, because you knew she'd regret it. You knew and you let it happen anyway. You caused her regret, now you have to live with it._

I looked around my room as I sighed, my eyes moving to a picture I knew all too well; Edward and I in our parent's backyard. I was talking to him while he laughed, both our arms around the other's shoulders. It was a black and white, taken by our mother only six months before his death.

"Fuck!" I cursed and wanted to rip my own hair out.

I just fucked my dead brother's wife.

Who the fuck was I trying to kid last night?

I was her husband's brother, not just a man that loved her.

Even I saw something messed up there.

I knew she was feeling guilty. Guilty for fucking me, guilty for loving me, maybe? Guilty because I was Edward's brother... There was no getting around that.

I wanted to soothe her, but I was the last person she wanted right now. She told me so by running away from me as soon as she woke up this morning.

By the time I pulled some boxers on and walked out into the living room, Nessie and Bella were already gone.

My house suddenly felt even bigger, colder and lonelier than it ever had before.

I needed them back.

And I was going to get them back.

They were my family, they belonged here.

And I belonged with them.

* * *

_Don't hate me for the ending, please review and I'll give you the next chapter in Bella POV as soon as possible. Also I thought I'd point out that this is a short story. There will only be another two chapters, in Bella POV and then an epilogue. Plus, one more thing. The person to thank for me even writing this is my wifey, __courthale__. So this is for her. Love you, my love!_


	3. Chapter Three

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own anything. I know, crazy, right?

Special thank to my beta, obsessedmom. Always very grateful for everything.

_

* * *

_

**Chapter Three**

So hold me when I'm here  
Right me when I'm wrong  
Hold me when I'm scared  
And love me when I'm gone  
- 3 Doors Down

_Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck!_

Yeah, you fucked him.

_Fuck!_

How could I be so selfish? What did I think? That I could have the best of both worlds?

Have both Edward and Emmett?

But I didn't have Edward. Not anymore. He was gone.

He left us and I was so angry, still. I always hated what he did for a living. It scared me everyday, knowing his life was in danger every time he clocked in at the station.

It didn't matter that he saved lives every week. God still took him from me and from his daughter. We needed him. Didn't he know that before he walked into that burning building? Did he even care?

He promised he'd love me forever. He promised we'd have more babies and grow old together. He promised so many things that would never happen now.

God, I missed him so much it was hard to breath. But despite the anger, I still loved him, so how could I love Emmett?

Tears ran down my cheeks, like they did often when I cried for him.

Nessie was down on the floor, playing with some toys. She was a good only child, the same way I had been. I could be alone and entertain myself. I hardly ever got bored.

I could not have gotten home quicker this morning, once I ran from Emmett's bed, like a fucking child. I took Nessie from her room at Emmett's house and grabbed our stuff, quickly driving home and locking myself in from the world.

It was midday already. About six hours since I ran. I had three missed calls from Emmett and a text message asking if I was alright, telling me he was sorry.

No._ I_ was sorry.

I slept with Edward's older brother.

I loved Edward's older brother.

I didn't know which was worse.

I tried denying the feelings that grew inside me for Emmett over the last year or so, but it didn't really work.

He was kind and caring. He took care of us when Edward could no longer do so. I knew he loved Nessie like his own daughter and I knew that on some level he loved me.

Maybe I used him.

But I needed him.

That dream scared the shit out of me every time I had it; Emmett was kissing my neck while he held me and I told him I loved him, I needed him... I was his, and then Edward would look up and ask why I was saying Emmett's name.

Was I not the most horrible person that walked this earth?

I wasn't sure why I went to his room last night of all nights. Maybe because I knew he'd tell me everything was okay, maybe because I knew he'd tell me what I felt wasn't wrong and suppress all my fears.

Or at least make me face them like he always did.

In the moment, it was beautiful. It was perfect. He was perfect.

I, on the other hand, wasn't.

With the sunrise came regret and guilt. Sleeping with my husband's brother was beyond messed up. Loving him was selfish. He deserved better.

I looked down at my left palm, running my right index finger over the gold band there. I was never strong enough to remove it. I was scared that if I did, I'd lose even more of Edward than I already had.

I was scared that loving Emmett meant there would be no room left for Edward.

How could I do what I did? To the both of them.

What would Edward think of me now? Was he watching over us or turning over in his grave?

How could I ever look myself in the mirror again?

I cried a little harder, this time into my hands as I covered my face with them.

I felt Nessie next to me, her hand on my thigh as she stood there, very quiet and probably scared by my crying.

I took a deep breath and wiped my face dry, "Hey, baby..." I whispered, brushing her hair from her face.

"Where's Uncle Em?" She questioned, probably because he was always the one that comforted me when I cried.

I tried my hardest not to continue crying as she asked for him.

"He's at home. You'll see him later, okay... Are you hungry? Should mama make lunch?" I asked.

She nodded and remained quiet, going back to her toys as I got up to start lunch for her.

0o0o0

Two days, fifteen missed calls and a few dozen text messages later, there was a knock at my door. My breath caught in my throat as I looked to the door and Nessie jumped up excitedly.

"Sit down, baby. Mama will get it." I told her, stroking her hair as she sat back down on the couch and pouted. She was suddenly more interested in our door than the television set.

I walked over slowly as the knocking continued, "Open the door, Isabella Marie Swan-Cullen!" I sighed when I heard Alice's voice from the other side.

I opened up the door and saw her standing there, hands on her hips and a knowing look, "What?" I asked her, stepping back, honestly feeling a little scared of her.

"Emmett's worried about you." She eyed me some more, "What happened with you two?" she asked as she stepped in.

"Hey, Nessie!" She winked and held her arms out for Nessie to run into.

I watched the two of them hug before Alice picked her up into her arms, "Well?" she asked me.

"Nothing." I shrugged and closed the door.

"Right... Sure." She rolled her eyes at me, "You're coming to my house for dinner. Jasper is away on business and Rosalie is coming over too. Girls' night!" She said the last part a little more excitedly.

But I knew my two best friends. Alice and Rosalie wanted to talk and see what was wrong, because Emmett had obviously called Alice about it.

I was not happy.

I didn't want my best friends knowing how horrible I was.

I was ashamed of being with him, because it _was_ wrong. It was, even if it felt right. I was so very ashamed of the way he made me feel. It was wrong that I wanted him.

"I'm not really up for that, Ali." I sighed.

"Fine, but I'm taking your daughter so you better come." She threatened, already ready to leave.

I stared at her and shook my head.

"We just want to talk, Bells..." She told me softly now, "Just come."

"Fine," I sighed, "give me a minute."

0o0o0

Thirty short minutes later I was sitting on Alice's couch with her next to me and Rosalie on the sofa across the coffee table. Nessie was lying on the floor, far enough away not to hear our conversation while coloring in a new fairy coloring book Alice had gotten her.

"Are you going to fuckin' talk?" Rosalie asked, huffing and sitting back, rubbing her swollen stomach. She was due in a couple of months and honestly the funniest pregnant woman I had ever seen. She and her husband Jacob owned a garage where she worked on cars all day, and swore worse than any guy.

"No." I shook my head, deciding to be difficult. I wasn't the one that wanted to talk. I never asked to talk. I wanted to take it all back and maybe pretend it didn't happen.

But I knew that wouldn't work. I couldn't stop the feelings I had for Emmett just because I wanted to.

"He loves you, you know?" Alice said softly, bringing her hand to my knee.

I just looked at her and shook my head. Not because I didn't know, but because I wished he didn't. What the hell was he thinking? I was with his brother. I had his brother's child. He was as messed up as I was in this whole situation.

"Oh, who the fuck do you think you're kidding? I brought you to his birthday party seven years ago and that prick broke up with me like a week later. Why do you think that was? Because I wasn't smoking hot back then?" Rosalie asked sarcastically, "No." She shook her head, "Because it was so obvious that he feel in love with the long haired brunette best friend I brought with me." She raised her eyebrows and gave me a hard look.

Yeah, Rosalie blamed me for their break up. I would always laugh when she suggested I was the one who broke them up. I knew she was over it now of course. She and Jacob had been together for four years and as much as they didn't like to admit it, I knew they were perfect for each other. They yelled a lot and put each other in their place, but they were so passionate about the other. And that's what they both were; passionate people.

"Are you ever going to stop blaming me for that break up?" I asked, sighing as I sat back and crossed my arms over my chest.

"He fell for you and you fell for his younger brother... He still loves you, he always has. It's like the most obvious thing in the world." There was no subtlety with Rosalie, never had been.

"Now, as big of a cock-sucking-ass-fuck that he is, I think he's perfect for you, always has been, always will be."

I saw red for a second, feeling like she was disrespecting Edward. Edward was perfect. I loved him more than I ever knew I could love another.

"Bella," Alice looked to me, sensing my mood change. Her husband Jasper was starting to rub off on her. She had become a master at sensing people's emotions. "Of course Rosalie doesn't mean any disrespect towards Edward. We know you two loved each other fiercely. No one's doubting that, sweetheart. But don't you think Edward wants you happy and safe?... No one could love Nessie as much as Emmett does... You know that."

I bit on my lip and looked from Alice to Rosalie, "What did he tell you?" I questioned. Sure, they had tried to have this conversation with me before, but they were really pushing it this time.

"Nothing." Alice sighed.

"Well it's obvious you two fucked, god knows you needed it." Rosalie rolled her eyes, shocking me and making my mouth fall open, heat rising to my face. She smirked at me, "Oh, yeah, he may be a cock-sucking-ass-fuck, but that boy sure knows what he's doing in the bedroom." Rosalie smiled, a dreamy look taking over her eyes.

Now that was just shocking, "You realize you're pregnant with Jacob's baby. Remember Jacob, your husband?" Alice slightly laughed to herself.

"Yeah, yeah. He's a dog too. All men are. And just because I'm screwing Jake now, doesn't mean I haven't slept with other equally great-in-the-sack men," she corrected. Alice shook her head, turning her attention back to me and away from Rosalie.

Alice huffed again and looked irritated, "We're meant to be encouraging Bella to move on, not scare her to death with talk of how all men are dogs... Which, they _aren't._" She sighed again and decided to ignore Rosalie now.

"Look, Bells. I'll keep Nessie here tonight. I need the company really," She shot a look in Rosalie's direction when she said that, then softly looked back at me, "Please go talk to him. Sort out whatever happened, and remember you deserve to be happy again. No one's going to think badly of the two of you just because you have feelings for each other... I think Edward would choose Emmett over anyone to take care of you and Nessie, don't you?" She seemed to be pleading with me to see it her way, "Edward was amazing, Bells. We all loved him and we knew how much he loved you, but you need to move on and let someone else love you too. And you need to allow yourself to love them back." My little Alice, so full of wisdom it seemed.

It was so much easier said than done.

0o0o0

A nice meal that I couldn't enjoy, and an hour later, and I was being pushed out of Alice's house. I didn't want to go. I didn't want to face what happened.

But I would have to. Emmett was my family. We'd have to sort this out sooner or later, whether I liked it or not.

And as scared as I was to see him and the disappointed look he'd probably have on his face at what I had done, I think I knew he'd be the one to hold me and tell me what we did wasn't wrong, maybe even make me believe it.

He was always so strong when I was so weak. Why would he ever possibly love me? I was plain and average, unexciting and sad. There was nothing in me to love.

The hope that maybe he did still love me after all that melted my heat a little. I knew he was my comfort and my home if ever I felt lost. Which I did; I felt so, so, so fucking lost. I had been feeling lost for years.

I swallowed hard when I pulled into his long driveway.

_Be strong for once in your life. Talk to him. He deserves that much._

With everything I could muster, I dragged myself out of the car and stood in his driveway for a good five minutes before actually moving up to the front door.

Another five minutes and I rang the door bell.

His footsteps got closer and the door swung open. He starred at me for a second before his face softened and he pulled me into his arms, "Oh, baby. I've been so worried about you," he whispered into my hair, holding me tight.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and held on tightly, hiding my face in his chest as the tears began to flow.

He held me for what seemed like forever, and I was safe in that forever.

But then he brought me back from himself, holding my shoulder firmly, but gently.

I felt pathetic crying in front of his face like this while he looked at me with sadness. His hands cupped my face and his thumbs wiped my tears, only to be replaced by more before he pulled me into the house and closed the front door behind us.


	4. Chapter Four

**Disclaimer:** Don't own it.

Thank you to obsessedmom for correcting all my mistakes.

_

* * *

_

**Chapter Four**

I couldn't help but cry. No matter how much I tried to stop myself, they just kept pouring out of me.

_Poor weak little Bella._

God, I hated being this way.

Emmett held one of his arms tight around my shoulders as he led me to the couch and sat me down. He sat across from me on the coffee table, my knees between his, that's how close we were.

And I needed this closeness with him, because I missed it terribly these last few days. He gently rubbed my shoulder and placed his other hand on my knee while letting me cry. I couldn't stand him looking at me this way. I felt so stupid, so I did something even more stupid; I forced myself forward and into his arms.

He didn't seem startled or shocked, he just held me tight as I cried into his shoulder and tried to breathe him in. It wasn't really working out well for me considering my nose was now full.

I just had no idea what to do about this whole thing. I was so confused and so worried about everything. He hushed me and stroked my hair gently, not saying a word until I calmed down and lightly sobbed into his shoulder now, "I missed you..." I whispered, because I really did and I wanted him to know. I wanted him to know I cared about him too; I just wasn't as strong as him.

"Really?" He pulled my shoulders back and now looked somewhat surprised.

"Yes, really." I nodded as I spoke quietly. I felt like such a bitch that he felt he had to question that.

"It's just... I know how I feel about you, and after the other day, when you left... I thought... Well... I don't know," He looked down and finally let my shoulders go, placing his large hands down in my lap, "I know you wish we hadn't done what we did..." His broad shoulders where hunched over as he watched my hands find their home in his.

_How could you make him feel this way? Emmett is the sweetest man you've ever known. He's taken care of you since the minute you met him. He's taken you to the god damn hospital five times in the last seven years and held your hand until Edward got to you._

_He's your guardian angel and you make him feel like he's a mistake? Only heartless bitches do that kind of shit._

I realized I hadn't responded to what he was saying, because my mind was internally beating the crap out of me right now.

I finally shook my head and sniffled, "Everything is just, really messed up. I'm not meant to feel this way about you." I took a shaky breath when I saw the way his blue eyes took on more sadness.

"You know I love you," I sighed and brought one of my hands up to his cheek. He looked like he hadn't slept in a few days, but he was still stunning, even with the deep darkness under his bright eyes.

"But there's too much standing in the way." He finished for me, "You can't live with the fact that I'm Edward's brother."

I felt fresh tears spill over, blurring my version and closed my eyes, "I feel like I cheated on him." I whispered, keeping my eyes shut and dropping my hand from his face, "And I feel bad that you're always with me and Nessie when you could be out meeting nice women who could make you happy." I opened my eyes, realizing just how long I had held him back from his life.

He grabbed both my hands and held them tight, "Listen to me, I'm never happier then when you and Nessie are with me. You are my idea of heaven. You and Nessie." He brought my hands to his lips and kissed them gently.

We sat there looking at one another. I wanted to kiss him and ask him to hold me until the end of time. I loved being in his strong arms, maybe not in that stupid pool of his, put every other time, yes.

But that was selfish.

"Why?" My question came out sounding broken and helpless, this was the reason I didn't understand what he was saying. "I'm a horrible person. I'm weak and... and average and you're like... you're the sweetest guy in the world." Here I went, sobbing again. I did not understand why he wanted me or what he saw in me.

"You are not horrible, baby, don't you ever fucking say that to me again." His voice was somehow soft with the harsh statement. I wanted to comply, but how could I?

"But," His jaw clenched and I quickly shut my mouth and swallowed.

"Never." He told me. "I won't allow anyone to talk about the woman I love that way. You are everything that is right in my life. Who would I be without you?" He sighed and finally smiled, rubbing circles into my palm with his thumb.

My heart wanted to beat out of my chest when I heard him talk about me that way. I sounded so special to him.

"Don't hate me, okay?" he said, surprising me and making my brows pull together. I didn't understand.

"I fell for you on my twenty-third birthday..." He really was the sweetest thing in the world, "It took you a whole ten minutes to own my heart... And I know I'm an asshole because I was with Rosie back then, but it's the truth... I don't want to lie to you anymore, Bella. I want it to be okay that I feel this way."

I fought not to just burst into tears like a child and listen until he was finished.

"I'm glad you and Edward were together, I really am. You made him this other person, this person I liked. He was always so lost before you, you made him smile, _really_ smile. You brought him to life. Only you could. You were so special to him... And you were special to me, you still are, baby, you always will be... I felt like the worst brother ever for wanting you... I tried not to, I really did... But the feeling never went away."

I couldn't believe how much he was opening up to me after all these years. He really did love me, and I was the luckiest girl in the world... The most _undeserving_ luckiest girl in the world.

He sighed and scared me a little when he suddenly looked frustrated, "I know it's messed up, I understand how you feel... I understand why you feel like you cheated on him, because I feel like I'm betraying him for loving his girl, but I can't fucking help it. I've tried to stop, but I could never get you off my mind... That's creepy as fuck, I know." He sighed and shook his head, making me laugh slightly at the last part. It wasn't funny though, it was a nervous laugh.

"I can make you happy, or spend the rest of my life trying at least... I can't be without you, Bella... Please don't..." I sat silent as his eyes watered and he swallowed a few times, as if finding the strength to go on, "Don't regret me." He was losing his fight not to cry and a few tears finally escaped onto his cheeks.

I couldn't stand watching him hurt over me. He had been hurting because of me for so long and for once I would do something good, I would take care of him, because he deserved it, because I wanted to be his strength too. He knew how I was feeling, more than I imagined.

His head hung low, as if ashamed that he was crying in front of me, but so was I. I pushed his shoulders back and stood, straddling his lap and wrapping myself around him, his face in my neck and mine in his. His arms came around my waist and held on for dear life.

We sat on his coffee table like that, crying. Crying for everything. Crying until only my sobs were heard and he was quiet, stroking my back and placing soft kisses on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry," I finally managed to say, "I don't want to make you feel that way... I'm so sorry." I sighed and breathed hot air into his neck, holding on tightly still. "I want to be good for you..." I whispered because god knows I'd fail if I tried.

"You are." He told me, clearly and sternly.

"I'm a mess... I hate him, I hate him for leaving... but I don't want to hate him. I feel like... like loving you means I really do hate him, and that makes me... horrible..." I whispered the last word, hoping he wouldn't yell at me for using it again.

He pulled back, grabbing my shoulders again and making me look at him, "You are good, you are giving, caring and loving... You have never in all this time that I've known you said a bad word about anyone... Do you know that I've never met someone else like that?" he asked. I shook my head and pulled into myself. Why did he think so highly of me?

"I just said I hate Edward, that's bad." I corrected.

"You hate him because you love him so much... I fucking hate that prick too. He left you. He had you and he left you. I love him, but he's the biggest idiot I've ever known... It's so easy to be angry with him, but deep down we're really not, baby... We just miss him so bad that if we allow ourselves to realize it, we'd know it hurts more to miss him than it does to hate him... It's easier to hate..."

I cried. I cried because he was so wise and way too good for me, just like Edward had been. It was so fucking wrong that I saw Edward in him. Edward always made sense of things like Emmett does.

"I don't want to not love him anymore..." My eyes drifted to my wedding band on his right shoulder, "But it's selfish to love you both."

He shook his head, taking my hand and kissing my knuckles. He traced my band with his finger and sighed, "You can love us both... If you want." He sounded so unsure.

_You make him feel this way. You make him feel like he's less important than Edward. You make him feel like his second best._

I didn't want either of them to be second best.

"I do love you... I just feel like a total bitch for... for being so attracted to you, and wanting... things with you that I once wanted with Edward... You are not second best, I'm sorry for making you feel that way... But I'm just so lost..."

_Come on, Bella. Be the strong one. Show him you can look after him too. Show him he's worth it. Make him worth it. Allow yourself._

"We could try to find our way together..." he whispered, letting my hand go and stroking my hair off my sticky tear covered face. "You feel so right in my life..." My eyes closed as his words were felt against my lips, now gently kissing me.

_And you feel right in mine._

My arms wrapped around his shoulders again as we kissed softly.

"I never want to be without you." I told him, the realization hitting so hard I felt like I might go flying across the living room. If there was no Emmett, there'd be nothing left of me. I'd be no one and Nessie would have a ghost raising her.

I had to be my best version for her, and Emmett made me my best version. He was all that I wasn't. He held us all up. His strength was magical and beautiful, and he chose me to share it with.

"I'll make it all better, baby... promise." He sighed against my face and continued to hold it in his hands, "Just don't leave me."

"I could never," I knew it was true. As screwed up as everything was, being with him felt like what was meant to happen. We were meant to be here right now. We were meant to remember Edward together, overcome his death and love him for the rest of our lives even though he hurt us worse than we had ever been hurt before.

Edward was my partner. He was Emmett's little brother. We both grew as people because of him; I became a mother and a lover, and Emmett became a protector.

We were us because of him. Because he loved us and we loved him.

We could love each other too, _we fucking do_, it's obvious it can be done.

"I believe you, and I want you, and I need you, and I love you..." And I was in tears yet _again_, "and it feels so fucking good to admit it." So much better than I thought it would.

He crashed his lips against mine, holding me closer than ever. My arm tightened around his back, as the other cupped his face too, keeping him to me.

He lifted me as our kiss broke. I wrapped my legs around him while he wrapped one arm around my waist and held the other under my thigh. He walked us silently to his bedroom and put me down on the bed carefully. He handed me some tissues from his bedside table and I blew my nose, kicking my shoes off.

I smiled as we lay down and snuggled in close, nose to nose and arms around one another.

"It's gonna be okay." He assured, squeezing me around the waist and pressing my body even closer to his. I closed my eyes and smiled as our noses touched.

"I know." I believe him. He'd make it all okay, like he always did.

But this time, so would I. I'd make this work and I'd figure out everything I was feeling in time. I'd put everything in its place and we would understand it all together.

The most important thing right now was knowing we loved each other and we were going to be strong enough to accept it, learn to believe it was right.

0o0o0

I woke up with his arm around me and soft jasmine smelling hair under my chin. I smiled and opened my eyes, seeing Emmett's sleeping face on the pillow next to me, Nessie's small arm wrapped around his neck as she slept peacefully between us.

She had crawled in with us in the middle of the night, claiming the monster in her closet was out to eat her. Emmett told her he'd take care of the monster in the morning and she could sleep between us tonight. We'd keep her safe.

It had been three months since Emmett and I decided to really do this together, to allow ourselves to love each other. And it had been great. His parents understood and were happy for us, mine did too, and so did all our friends.

I should have given them all more credit. They were truly good people. They didn't judge us, they just wanted us to be happy.

We were blessed.

We were happy again.

And we knew now that just because we were happy, it didn't mean we loved or missed Edward any less. It was still hard, and it always would be, but we were getting stronger with each day.

It no longer felt wrong to look at Emmett and feel all warm inside. It no longer felt wrong to love it every time he touched me.

Nessie moved around between us, clearly awake now. Emmett groaned and turned onto his back, rubbing his eyes with one hand and finally turning to look at us. I held Nessie close and kissed the top of her head before Emmett smiled at us.

"You girls have no idea how nice it is to wake up to two beautiful smiles," he told us. Nessie giggled when he kissed her face all over, making me laugh too. He winked at me when he stopped and placed a small peck against my lips.

"Everyone sleep good?" he asked. Nessie nodded and I responded with, "Very good."

"I believe we have a closet monster to take care of." Emmett announced.

Nessie nodded and sat up, letting me stroke her long hair down her back as I laid back and enjoyed the comfortable bed.

"Let's go." he said, standing and reaching for her. He picked her up into his arms, now leaving me alone in the big bed.

"What about Mama?" She questioned, rubbing her eyes and then reaching for Mr. Bunny. I handed her the stuffed toy and she held it close.

"I think Mama would be safer here, don't you? She can call for help incase anything should happen to us in battle," Emmett told her.

Nessie was suddenly even more serious than before. She sighed and nodded, "Kisses first."

I grinned and got up onto my knees to kiss them both before they left the room.

I laid back down on the bed as they left, smiling and shaking my head when I heard Emmett yelling at the monster to get out and face them like a man. There was banging and shouting and Nessie's laughter as, I guessed, they got the closet monster.

I sighed and finally got out of bed, going to one of Emmett's drawers and finding a pair of his way-too-big-for-me pajama pants, but they were just so comfortable.

I slipped them on and rolled the bottom up so that I could walk without tripping and falling on my face, breaking my nose. Been there, done that... in the first month Edward and I had been married.

I smiled remembering how he yelled at me the whole way to the hospital, wondering why the hell I didn't have the sense to roll the legs up or just wear a pair of my own, and as I looked forward there he was, smiling with Emmett's arm around him.

I continued to smile as I took the framed photo and looked at the two amazing men in the black and white photograph Esme had taken in her backyard about six months before Edward's death.

Emmett was being a smart ass and saying something funny while Edward laughed. I could hear it now, it was always so velvety and soothing whenever he laughed. It made me so happy.

Smiling still, I put the frame back down next to one of Edward and Nessie. She was so small in his arms and he was looking down at her like she held all the answers in the world.

Without realizing it at first, the fingers of my right hand had attached themselves to my wedding band. I looked down as I slipped it off for the first time since putting it on. It seemed like a lifetime had gone by, by the time I placed it between the two photographs.

It felt okay to do this. It felt like it was time, and even though that ring was now on the dresser and not on my finger, I didn't feel any less love for him. The love was just a little different now. I loved his memory and I loved who he was. He'd always be in our hearts.

"Mama!" Nessie snapped me out of it as I turned to her at the door, "Uncle Em wants breakfast," she told me and then ran off as soon as she had entered.

I walked down the hall and joined them in the kitchen. Emmett was already pulling out all that was needed, quickly sitting Nessie up on one of the stools. The two of them started shaking the pancake mix together as I started frying the bacon.

Emmett left Nessie to the shaking and came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my stomach and kissing my shoulder. He froze up for a second before his hand quickly took mine, his thumb rubbing over the pale skin where my band had been only minutes earlier.

He didn't say a word, just brought my hand up to his lips and kissed it.

I relaxed into his chest and sighed because I had to take my hand back from his kisses to flip the bacon.

"Mama, Uncle Em made the mean monster leave," Nessie informed.

"Yeah, I heard you guys in there. Sounded like some fight." I nodded, smiling as she continued to shake the pancake mix way longer than needed.

"It was nothing. That guy didn't stand a chance between Nessie and I," Emmett told me, coming to stand beside me now so I could finish the breakfast.

"Well, lucky me. I feel very safe knowing I live with two such brave people." I winked at Nessie.

"Of course, baby. We'd never let anything happen to you." Emmett brought his hand to the back of my neck as he kissed my temple and made me melt from how much love there was in our home.


	5. Epilogue

**Disclaimer:** Never owned any of it, never will.

Special thanks to obsessedmom for editing this whole fic for me from the start. I love the way you edit and make me sound so much better than I would without you. Thank you, thank you, thank you, a million times over.

* * *

**Epilogue**

"Daaaaad... Please don't do this. Pleeeease..." Nessie continued to whine and beg.

"No. You tell that boy if he has any hopes of taking you out tonight, he'll come in here first, introduce himself like a normal person and show me proof that he's allowed to be driving that shiny little BMW out there." Emmett told her sternly, keeping his ground.

I couldn't help but smirk when Nessie stomped her foot down and pouted, "No one else's dad does this. You're like soooo embarrassing," she sobbed without tears. I remembered being a teenager, they treated everything like it was the end of the world.

"You're not leaving this house until I speak to him. Now I'm perfectly happy with you staying home tonight and watching that movie with your mother and I." Emmett shrugged and acted like he wasn't amused with her behavior, but I knew inside he was dying of laughter. This whole thing was for his own amusement, no doubt.

"Mooom," She whined to me now, pulling her brows together and pleading, "Can't you tell him to stop being so weird? Please?!" Again with that stomping of the foot.

"Listen to your father, baby." I told her, "You know that doesn't work in this house." We didn't let the kids trick us into giving different answers. Emmett and I were always on the same side.

"The longer you avoid this, the less time you have with him," Emmett reminded, considering it was seven already and she had an eleven o'clock curfew tonight.

Nessie sighed and looked like she'd break out in tears anytime soon. I smiled as she looked at me. Even with that pout she was adorable. I saw so much of Edward in her. She had the same color hair as him and wore it how I used to when I was her age.

She'd be seventeen in a couple of months, which meant one year closer to eighteen. Emmett was freaking out a little, and honestly so was I. He was really strict with her and afraid whenever she wasn't in his sight.

Soon after Emmett and I married, ten years ago, she took to calling him 'dad', nothing else really changed. He had always been more of a father to her than an uncle. Of course she knew about her father, how much he loved her and how much we loved him. It was easier telling her about him with Emmett. He described Edward perfectly every time, and my favorite was when he talked about their childhood.

Nessie was truly a good girl; she never went longer than a week without visiting Edward, sometimes I went with her, sometimes Emmett and sometimes her younger brother, Anthony. The two of them actually got along really well and joked around a lot. He was nine now and the spitting image of his father, Emmett.

"Go on," Emmett said, opening the door for her.

She stood there and huffed, then finally stomped out the front door and over to the kid's car.

He got out and they chatted for a second. He looked over at us just inside the door and smiled brightly. He was a cute kid; kind of tall, a mess of brown curls atop his head.

Emmett stood firm with his hands crossed over his chest and a 'mean' expression on his face. No matter how hard he tried he could never make that sweet face anything but sweet, but I let him believe he could.

Nessie and the boy walked up the driveway. Nessie looked so nervous, it was beyond cute.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, I'm Justin. It's nice to meet you." He said, extending his hand to shake Emmett's hand first.

Emmett nodded and shook his hand and then I did the same, "It's lovely to meet you, Justin. I understand you go to school with Nessie." I smiled.

Justin really was cute; He had bright blue eyes and a bit of a baby face that he seemed to be close to outgrowing.

"Yes, Mrs. Cullen. We have a couple of classes together." He nodded.

"How nice," I smiled brighter as Nessie looked at me, and then shrugged. At least she picked a nice boy.

"Ah ha and where are you taking my daughter tonight?" Emmett questioned.

"Daaad," Nessie sounded frustrated again.

Emmett shot her a look and she stayed quiet.

Justin turned to Nessie, "It's alright," he told her, turning back to us, "We're just going to see a movie and then go for burgers and ice cream with some friends," Justin told us coolly.

"Ah ha, sounds okay, I guess. And how long have you been driving?" Emmett asked.

I had to laugh, now he was acting like a cop or something.

_Hmmm, that gives me an idea... _

The usual OB/GYN role play was extra hot, but cop and drunk driver would be fun for a change too.

"He wants to see your license." Nessie looked like she wanted to kill Emmett, her face was getting red.

"Oh," Justin searched his back pockets and pulled out his wallet, "no problem," he said, handing it to Emmett.

Emmett looked it over before handing it back, "Well, don't have too much fun," he said.

Justin laughed a little, "Thanks,"

"Okay, we're leaving!" Nessie announced, going to grab her purse.

"Remember eleven o'clock, young lady." Emmett reminded.

"Yes," She rolled her eyes, then kissed him goodbye.

She hugged me next and I held her close for a few extra seconds, "Don't be late, but if you are running late, make sure you call." I kissed her cheek and waved at Justin.

The two of them made it to his car and drove away.

Emmett closed the door and burst into laughter, "She's so mad at me. It's cute," he said.

"Yeah, I'm the one that's gonna have to listen to her bitch about you tomorrow." I huffed, as if upset by it.

Emmett grinned at me and grabbed my waist, pulling me against him tightly. I bit my lip and looked up at him. He had become even more handsome with age. His facial features were now more distinguished and yet still as striking as ever. I could watch him for hours and never tire. He was still in amazing shape, his chest swallowing my small frame like it always had.

I wrapped my arms around him and snuggled in close. He kissed the top of my head and stayed quiet.

Just when I thought this moment was perfect, the house phone started ringing. Emmett groaned as I pulled away and went to get it. I saw Anthony's cell on the caller ID, "Hey, baby boy," I answered with a smile.

"Hey, ma. What's up?" he asked.

"Nothing much, your sister just left. Dad and I are probably gonna watch a movie. You want us to wait for you?" I asked. He was at Rose and Jake's house, playing video games with their younger son, Joshua.

Rosalie and I were pregnant with Anthony and Joshua at the same time, and as the two grew together, they became best friends.

"Nah, I was gonna ask; can I stay over at Josh's tonight? It's not a school night," Anthony asked.

"As long as it's okay with Aunt Rose. Did you ask her or Uncle Jake yet?"

"Yeah, she said it's cool," he responded.

"Okay, let me talk to her before you hang up," I told him.

"Alright, ma. Tell Dad I said hey. I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"Yep. I love you, honey."

"Love you too. Here's Aunt Rose." I heard his cell being handed over while Rose yelled at someone.

I smiled, waiting for her to answer, "Hey, Bells. Guess you're getting lucky tonight, since the kids aren't home, huh?" she teased. Of course she knew Nessie was going out on a date tonight, we had talked about it the other day.

I rolled my eyes, because even with age, she hadn't changed. Still as blunt as ever.

"Guess you're not." I smirked at my come back.

"Bitch," she sneered.

"Ho," I shot back lightly.

"Whatever," she sighed. "I'll bring Anthony around some time tomorrow. You can make coffee," Rosalie said.

"Okay, sounds good. I'll call Alice too." I smiled at the thought of spending some time with my two best friends.

Emmett POV

I watched Bella as she pushed her hair back, her fingers lost in the thick darkness. She still had all the same habits; biting that plump lip, pushing that long hair back off her face.

She nodded, looking off into nothingness as she spoke to Rosalie.

From the conversation, it sounded like Anthony was staying over at their house tonight.

_Score!_

_I'll have until eleven, probably later considering Nessie liked to stay out longer than she was told, to take Bella anywhere I want in the house._

"Okay, yeah. Bye." She finally hung up and put the phone back down.

I wrapped my arms around her waist again, and pulled her up close.

She smiled at me beautifully and placed her arms around the back of my neck, "Anthony and Josh are having a sleep over. Rose will bring him back home tomorrow," she told me.

I nodded, and pushed her against the wall, smiling at her and nodding, "I caught that," I said, leaning down to breathe in her sweet scent off her neck and chest.

I heard her intake of breath as her fingers moved into my hair and her leg hitched up around mine.

"Anthony said hello..." she whispered.

"Mmm humm," I hummed.

She moaned and pushed her chest into my face. I smiled and leaned down, grabbing her ass and lifting her easily. She was still extremely sexy, she looked like she was in her early thirties rather than just turned forty. No matter what age, I knew I'd always be in love and attracted to the woman in my arms.

"Em..." she breathed as I carried her into the kitchen.

"Mmm,"

"Where are you going? The bedroom's not that way, and I want to make love." She admitted sweetly, and god damn it, I loved her even more in this moment, if that was even possible.

_Fuck the movie! Let's make our own._

"Do you know how long it's been since I've loved you in the kitchen?" I growled and sat her down on the countertop, "Way too fucking long." I answered the question before she could.

She moaned as she pulled my shirt out of my pants and I helped her quickly pull it off my head, "You raise a good point..." she told me, her hands and eyes roaming my chest.

I smirked as I took her hands and pushed them up above her head and into the cabinets. She moaned and hissed as I attacked her neck, licking and sucking on the soft flesh.

Her legs wrapped around me and pulled me closer, her core pressing against my erection.

I was lucky that we still had a healthy sex life, we didn't fuck as much as we used to when we first got together, but it was still a good amount. Life was perfect in every aspect actually; I had two beautiful children, an amazing wife, a stable career and the love of all our family and friends.

"Fuck me." Bella's low voice brought my lips up her jaw and to her lips.

"Oh, I will." I responded between kisses, holding her hands tight and not letting her out of my grip for a few seconds longer.

Her mouth latched onto mine as the kiss grew deeper and more intense. I finally let her hands go and made quick work of her shirt and bra, cupping her perfect breasts and moving my face down to pay attention to the amazing creations.

I pulled back as we both fought to undo each other's jeans. She got mine first and pushed them down my legs with her feet, letting them pool around my feet.

I became a little rougher with her jeans from the sudden frustration as she giggled at me and lifted her hips to help me out.

I finally removed them, taking her panties along the way.

She gasped and giggled some more when I moved my hand over her heat. She was damp against my fingers as I rubbed her softly. Her teeth bit into her lip again as she looked into my eyes and rocked her hips into my hand, holding the counter under her with one hand and digging her nails into my upper arm with the other.

I finally moved in so we could connect in another kiss, losing myself and my fingers inside her. She moaned lightly into my mouth, slowly picking up as she neared her climax.

"Oh, oh... Em-mmm..." Her lips pulled away from mine and pressed into my shoulder.

"Does that feel good, baby?" I smiled, kissing her shoulder under my chin.

She cried out and tensed her body, responding by coming against my hand.

I chuckled to myself as I gently pulled my hand away, "I guess it did feel good, huh?" I mused.

She responded with a weak moan this time and caressed the back of my neck with both her hands, "How about we make you feel good now too?" She asked, teasing me by moving one of her hands down to palm my dick over the cloth of my boxer briefs.

"Fuck yes... please." I gripped her slender hips and pulled her closer to the edge of the counter.

I quickly pushed the damned boxer briefs down to join my jeans and sprung free against her inner thigh.

She wasted no time in taking me in her gentle hand and guiding me to her inviting entrance.

I sunk into the warmth that was my Bella and groaned with pleasure. I watched her face while her eyes closed and her nails dug into my back, "Oh..." She whimpered with each new trust and finally opened her eyes up to mine, I held my hand around the back of her neck to keep my forehead against hers.

I pumped into her harder and in no time, I was drilling so hard I thought we might break the sturdy counter. Her moans and whimpers turned into screams as she neared another orgasm.

I kissed up her neck and to her ear, biting lightly, "Fuck, come on, baby. Come. Let me feel it..." I whispered and nibbled a little harder.

It seemed my words urged her on. I could feel her tighten around my dick, making me cry out too, along with her. Her head was thrown back, my face buried in her neck as we both climaxed together, riding out the high and coming to a stop.

Our breathing evened out and we pulled apart, Bella hopping off the counter and hugging me again. I smiled and wrapped an arm around her naked back, stroking her hair and kissing the top of her head.

"I missed kitchen sex," she sighed.

I nodded in agreement and breathed her in some more.

"Let's take a bath," she suggested and looked up at me.

I nodded again and swept her up into my arms, carrying her to our bathroom.

I couldn't believe how wonderful our lives turned out after we decided to be together those thirteen years ago. There had been so much sadness over Edward's death, that it felt nice when we finally started living our lives again, knowing he'd want that too.

We missed him and we loved him, and we would see him again some day. But for now, we'd love him from afar and keep him in our hearts till the end.

We kept Nessie safe for him, because I knew he'd have it no other way. I always pictured him as a stern father, so I happily took over now that he couldn't.

"You getting in, baby?" Bella smiled, taking my hand and making me look at her as she stepped into the tub.

"Of course," I got in behind her and sighed contently when she lay back between my legs, her back against my chest and her head under my chin. My fingers intertwined with hers on the edge of the tub and we relaxed into the warm water together.

"I love you, baby." I sighed into her hair.

"I love you," she told me softly, making me happy with each word.

**  
The End **

* * *

**With You, I'm Me**  
_J__acob and Rosalie medium length story is now up and finished. It's set in the same universe, just focused on Jacob and Rosalie rather than Emmett and Bella._


End file.
